Involved in certain operation once again, that I haven't been sleeping for the past 3 nights because I was on duty. Was supposed to go to sleep in the day, but I was moved into a room filled with inconsiderate people who will switch on the lights, play their PSP with the volume on max, and talk to one another as if all of them are at different corners of the earth. Didn't manage to catch enough sleep that I doze off during duty, just feel so exhausted.
Sometimes I think I have better keep my mouth sealed. No one takes my points seriously, or even give a thought about it. I was told to keep quiet because I was trying to explain what happened, I was told that I was wrong when I was trying to explain my point of view on certain things, then what is the point of asking me and calling me a discussion? I may not be a specialist or hold a certain rank, I may not be more knowledgeable or gifted in certain things, but does that make my view or answers less-valued or less important?
I'm exhausted, angry, sad, and none better step on my tail because I will explode. The pain and itch on my rotten foot is adding to my irritated-level.
I want to get away somewhere, far away from everything, everybody, duties, responsibilities, un-appreciation, nags...
I want a break, I want people to stop telling me what to do, stop ordering me around...
Stop telling me that I'm wrong...
Because I'm not a boy like how I look...
And don't be astonished when I start playing my cards on the table...
Because I haven't display anything yet.
A lot of thoughts has been coming to mind lately after touching down in Singapore from overseas exercise. Mostly negative, very little positive thoughts. Circumstances at home and around me aren't helping either, just adding on to the load of sadness that I'm suffering from. Can't really share my thoughts online, since it is opened to the whole world to read.But there was one thought, what should be the motivation to push me into training harder to pass my SOC and IPPT, that I don't have to stay back on Friday evening in camp and book out on Saturday morning instead? I don't have a girlfriend to commit my Friday evenings and Saturday mornings to, there were many times I would find staying in camp much better than being at home, I'm not serving in any ministry that requires my Saturday morning. I mean, there is just no reason to push myself at all. I thought things are getting better around me, but it just isn't so...
If there is one less of me in this world, it won't be any difference. The world will still spin, people will still move on with life. Maybe they will have one lesser burden of having a friend who is always down. No one will notice even if disappearance occurs...
Don't tell me about things that will never happen, because I take every single word seriously...
When I was picking up my bag to book in at Nee Soon camp last night, I realised that I left my head-dress at Jurong camp before I left for overseas exercise! I thought that I will be returning back to Jurong after arriving back in Singapore, but never expected that I would need my head-dress for a parade at who-knows-where, so I just left it under my bed to 'season' it. Rushed back to Jurong, grabbed a few stuffs plus some medicine for my feet and hand, rushed out to take a cab to Nee Soon.
The activity for today that requires me to book in last night:
Watch a parade and eat KFC, then book out...
I feel so cheated! I booked out at 1100hrs this morning! Which means I was just called back to unit to sleep overnight so that I may watch a parade in the next morning, have some KFC and off I go! I could have slept on my own bed...
Ok, at least I'm home now, and I'm able to go out later, so I shall not complain too much about it. Plus, returning back to unit has made me realised that I have a platoon that is rather fun that I don't mind going through crazy training with them, which prepares me better when I return back to camp this morning evening. I'm still thankful for these bunch of friends even though I have not really know them yet =)
Shall spend my day a little more wisely today. Gonna grab my guitar before going out at 1400hrs!
... days again, when I have planned for what to do during these 'off' days, I receive a piece of bad news that just have to ruin it all...
Sergeant: "Hi Kelvin, you have to book in tonight at Nee Soon camp as there is a formation parade tomorrow. I know you have to book in on Sunday instead, but OC has overwrite the instruction as we are turning ops again next Tuesday."
Can't believe it. I just came back from an overseas exercise! Where is my well-deserved 'off'? If I'm turning operational again next Tuesday, that means I will have at least two weeks that will be burned soon.
Was thinking of going out to town after bringing my nephew to catch the school bus, but this phone-call just got to arrive at the moment I open the door of my house. Totally no mood anymore...
Sigh
It just feels good to be sleeping on my own bed after being away for 18 days...
The emptiness that is filled within, no matter what was done, just can't seem to be changed...
Picking up my guitar is like picking up a piece of wood. The keyboard felt like some plastics on my fingers as I type this entry away. The songs playing on my computer just doesn't feel right. Even my presence in this world just feels weird.
Maybe I'm tired...
Or maybe I'm missing out on something...
One of the routine I formed in this camp: waking up early at 5 plus in the morning to use one of the computer terminals available. Usually by 6 plus, the computers would be fully booked and it would take many hours before one would be available for use since people would keep putting coins into the machine to keep their games going. Maybe I should do that too huh? =P On the day of departure, I bought 2 books at 2 different bookstores thinking that I might need some reading materials while training here. However, I was proved wrong! 2 isn't enough! I never bring my PSP, no games to play nor movies to watch, finished reading those books, I was left to rot since yesterday! Hahaha... My first time spending more than 12 hours a day sleeping because there isn't anything to do at all. Just like what my friend would say, we complain when there is training, we complain more when we have nothing to do for the whole day! Haha =D 2 more days and I will be going for my R&R! Can't wait to go and get my fun and buy some stuffs. Met my secondary school friend and a BMT platoon mate during my stay in this camp. When people say that Singapore is kinda small, I just can't agree more, because my neighbour who lives just 5 floors above me is staying at the same bunk as me too. Haha... 9 more minutes and my time on this computer will be up! =\ Time to keep myself updated with news in Singapore! Sayonara! =D
I'm back in camp from the outfield! Managed to kill any living creature that was standing near me since I didn't get to shower for the past 10 days out in the field... Hahaha =P Just kidding la huh, the killing was a joke, but the 10 days of not showering is real... And the water turned black as I shower! 0_0 Shall type more when I return back to Singapore! Limited time online! Spent $1.50 SGD for online liao. Haha =P Getting home on 7th May! =D
Upon arriving at my current camp, I was rather surprised to find the condition of the camp here. Somehow I find my camp back in Singapore is much better. Since I will only be here for 3 weeks, I guess I can still live through it =) Yup! I'm online! There are actually computer facilities in the camp for use, 50 cents SGD for 20 minutes, not a bad deal anyway. The weather here is a little much cooler than expected, forgotten to bring my jacket this trip, froze while travelling on the plane and touring the neighbouring towns yesterday. When the cold wind blows, that is when my hair stand. I have to say, the towns here are almost like a ghost town without us around. I really wonder how do the businesses actually survive without tourist. The mountains and the surroundings are very beautiful too! Forgotten to pack my camera into my luggage as I was in a rush on Thursday, bought one instant camera yesterday instead but haven't managed to get any shot yet. Shall try to get some really nice photos on my R&R =) Logging off to rest in the bunk now! Moving out for training tomorrow. Hopefully the weather don't play pranks on us =P
Going off in about an hour to meet a friend before going to the airport. Would not be coming online for the next 3 weeks unless I managed to get hold of a computer =)
Please pray for me, for safety during the training. People might think that our armed forces train in a safe environment, it is true, but there will definitely be risk involved especially during rainy days when I have to handle signal sets.
And of course for my family, to be rest assured that I am in the safe hands of my God =)
See everybody soon!
It has been almost 4 months since we last spoken a word to one another. We have finally broke the silence, although it was a little awkward initially when I asked if she still wanted dinner. My sister was in the kitchen when I was grabbing my food and there were still some kind of tension because I didn't know if I should speak to her, but God gave me the strength to do it, to ask just a simple question that ended the cold war. I'm thankful to God, because that has been my prayer for the past months, that our relationship may be restored. God has given me opportunities, and finally I grabbed it. He had been putting this matter into my heart since that Saturday, at that moment I was buying the donuts. When she responded to my question, tears were just starting to form in my eyes. It was a kind of joy that I couldn't explain. At that moment, I knew what forgiveness really meant. My sister even offered me the soup that she cooked. It was awkward, but it was worth it...I'm thankful, that now I may go for my training with one lesser burden in my heart.
You forgive, You heal, You restore...
...a machine that would be able to capture my memories and print them out into photographs. Of course I must be able to choose which memories I would like to print, since there are also certain past which shouldn't be mentioned anymore.
I was lying on my bed on Monday night thinking about the buddies that I have made during BMT days. Just being with my current bunk mates remind me of those buddies because both groups of friends are just as crazy and fun-loving. There were many funny moments that I had at P.Tekong where cameras cannot be brought in to put them into pictures, otherwise I would be flipping through the photos and laughing at them. The way we pushed our cupboards and beds out of the room to do area-cleaning, marching to the cookhouse singing the same old songs, lying down on the floor instead of on the bed after breakfast to avoid being caught by sergeants for sleeping when it was time for area-cleaning, all the silly moments when we sat down together to polish our pair of boots because that was the only 'common' past-time that we have since there were really nothing to do, or the times we gathered to form teams to drag people from one bunk to another to tau-pok* them on the bed or just whack them for fun since it was near the time we pass out from BMT, so on and so forth...
Doesn't army sounds fun this way...?
Of course there are the fun and the not-so-fun moments. There were training that I dislike, yet get through certain training are a very good form of encouragements. Through the service, I have come to like jogging more, learnt how to eat a little more healthily, got to know that chocolates are such nice food and I will buy lots of them to eat during depressing moments... Hahaha... Ok, that doesn't sound too encouraging for those that haven't got enlisted yet.
But I will never forget the friendships made in various camps, these precious friends that went through the various training that we had together. And of course, I found my old neighbour through my service to the nation, and also got to realise one of my platoon mates actually is living just 5 levels above where I'm living now. Singapore is such a small country... =)
Time to prepare my stuffs for the trip! =)
*Tau-pok is actually a chinese delicacy, but the name has since took the form of a "team-building exercise" that is highly dangerous whereby someone would be forced onto the ground first, then all of the others will stack on top of him till it looks like a pile of human-blocks, after which you will hear one another screaming for help =P
Spent the whole morning reading the book entitled - For One More Day. It is the first book that I can actually finished reading within half the day, since I am a very slow reader, always taking a long time to finish a book even though it can be rather thin. The book put me to much thoughts, have I been a good son? The character in the story has made a list of "The times when mum stood up for me" and another list "The times when I did NOT stand up for mum" or something like that. As I reflect and think, indeed there were many times my mum had been my defender during difficult and tough times, but I was the one who brought hurts to her when that was what she didn't need at all. I remember an occasion a year or two ago, my guitar dropped onto the ground while I was still asleep, then I found a chip on the head when I woke up. I remember that in that particular morning, she had come into my room to draw the curtain for me, but I have not remembered if she was the actual cause of what happened. Yes, my guitar fell when she drew the curtain, but did the fall actually caused the chip? I was angry with her for the day, or rather trying to be angry with her for the whole day by locking myself in the room and only speaking to her when I went to take my lunch and dinner in the kitchen. I was trying to 'hurt' her, but I knew I have indeed hurt her through my anger. I was being childish. Is the guitar actually more important than my mum? For the past 20 years, my parents have done their part as being parents to their 3 children. Yes, there were unhappy moments, but which family doesn't? They cared for us, worked hard to provide for the family, put up with our nonsense, and even continue to love us no matter how much we have hurt them. I have a beautiful mum, and a handsome dad too. If it isn't for their love and care, I wouldn't be who I am today. I'm not the best citizen or person in the world, but I have at least lived a good 20 years under their supervision.Time really pass by quickly without us noticing...
The merciful God has given me lovely parents...
Thanks...
While typing the date of my title, I have come to realise that it would be the 10th month that I have served the nation tomorrow, since I was enlisted on 14th June 2007. It has also showed how faithful God has been to me for the past months, through the ups and downs, bringing me through things that I have never imagined that I would actually survived till this day. There are still many uncertain things ahead which I can only pray for Him to reveal and guide me through, until the day I am released from the service, until the day I graduated from university, until the day I stand and say my wedding vow, until the day I become a father, until the day I see my children married, until the day I return to His side in heaven.Parents came forward to dedicate their babies to the Lord during service. It was a wonderful sight to see so many children in service, since most of them would be at the 3rd level instead during services weekly, and the parents coming forward to present their children to God and His people. All of them were so cute! There was one baby that kept putting his hand into his mouth until the whole hand becomes wet with his saliva. Then at that time I was wondering, how good it would be to have a child. BUT, of course I don't have the financial and the abilities to care for one now since I have already much problems while taking care of my nephews over the weekend. Plus hearing my mum complain about how my sister is having trouble looking after the youngest one. I guess I shall return to find my Tamagotchi instead. I'm not married anyway. Hahaha... Shall not say so much since I'm still young =P Feeling very tired since I got home just now. Do not know the reason why, since I slept rather well last night. Would be returning back to camp soon! And soon I would be departing for the island for training, which will be this Friday very early morning. Please pray for safety that I would be able to return breathing and in one piece! Pray that my elder nephew that even though for the next 3 weeks he would be missing Sunbeam church, God will still teach him to be a good boy at home through whatever that was taught when he was in church. Pray for a change in his life.We may have learnt something along the way, but not using or doing that something that we have learnt is basically the same as not picking up that skill or knowledge. If we are not obedience to God's voice when we finally heard Him speak to us, isn't it the same as not hearing Him at all?
At least I told my nephew that whatever that was being taught in Sunbeam church, use it and do it. However, sometimes I really wonder if I am actually doing what I have learnt or heard.
Lying is bad... Don't ever steal... Always finish your homework before playing ok?... Must respect the people around you... Remember to say thank you when people give you things ok?...
"How to spread the good news when you are the bad news...?"
Personal Revival
Divine Appointment
Active Obedience
My company has finally returned from their training at another camp, days of sleeping alone in the bunk are gone. Waking up in the morning, queueing up for my turn to brush my teeth, is something that I'm trying to get used to as I didn't have to queue for my turn while I was stationed at HQ and while these friends are away. The silence of the bunk has finally been broken, noise and fun has returned, something which I appreciate. The peace and quietness of the bunk is gone for now, reading the Bible and reflecting on the day may not be done in 'peace' anymore, but man are created to not live alone  It had been a week filled with emotions for me, with something that I regretted doing when I was away at the library on Thursday night on my 'night-off'. I shall not reveal it here, since anyone can be reading this entry. It had also been a week filled with thoughts and memories of the past which I have written down into my journal since there isn't anyone whom I can share it with. I have never written such long entries in my journal until this week. Writing such long entries has made me question on the way I hold a pen, whether it is the best way since it causes my hand to cramp and hurt if I write long passages and it takes my hand very long to write a passage. Found a new hideout! It is a coffeebean cafe located in town. Since it is a hideout for me, I shall not reveal the location! The good thing about this place is there isn't many people, I love to drink The Ultimate ice-blended from coffeebean, able to read my book in peace, and there is a pretty and sweet looking lady that serves my coffee. Haha, I was just joking when I wrote the last reason.  Gotten myself a coffeebean card last Saturday, that I may earn some little points for drinking my favourite drink and maybe get some discounts for their new products. Hopefully I will have enough to claim for the tumbler before next year  Read finished a book entitled Christ the Lord - Out of Egypt written by Anne Rice. Shall not explain more as I have written a review on the book.Oh! Bought 12 donuts from Donut Factory at Suntec City just now. Had been craving for donuts since last night after watching a show reviewing the finance of Donut Factory and Munchy Donut. Was walking and wondering if I should buy, since it isn't cheap. But I have decided to buy a box of 12 to bless my family and my sister's that we may have something new for breakfast when we wake up tomorrow, plus to satisfied my craving. Decided to do that since I would be leaving for overseas training on Friday for 3 weeks, not knowing if I would be coming back alive since nobody knows what will happen. Of course I know God will protect me, but I'm just stating the possibility that He might bring me home any time I'm not trying to be negative, just facing the truth.Time to rest soon! Shall clear up my room a little and think of a new place to park my bicycle.Depart, depart, go out from there;
touch no unclean thing;
go out from the midst of her; purify yourselves,
you who bear the vessels of the Lord.
For you shall not go out in haste,
and you shall not go in flight,
for the Lord will go before you,
and the God of Israel will be your rear guard.
Isaiah 52:11 - 12 (ESV)
Some comments which I heard today..."Hey, your nephew looks like you leh! It's like he is your son!" - Anonymous"The father and son! Now our CG has expanded to have children too! Don't worry Kel, Jesus loves children... Hahaha" - Howie"Bringing your son to church? =D" - Andy's lady friend, of whom I just can't remember her name
After going to church today, I realised that I have become a father all of a sudden, not knowing who the mother of the child is, or who did I bore the son with! From uncle, I have become a father. Haha...Thankful for the each of the CG mates who have came forward to chat with my nephew and allow him to feel like he is in this group too, plus babysitting him while I was away shopping for some items that I will need for my training on the small island. Sometimes I really wonder why that kid can really bring lots of anger but also laughter at the same time. Because of this monkey, and also the other two monkeys at home (Yup, 3 monkeys altogether), I have come to love to interact with children in BB or other places more each time, like I'm a little big kor kor to them. They can be the innocent yet not so innocent kids, but they are definitely the ones whom you would love to talk to and walk with them till they are older and independent, then you will know that whatever that you have spoken and taught them before has guide them to become who they are in the future. We are not the engine, we are the workers. God is the engine to push them and drive them on, we are just the ones who turn on the car with the key... Had a little 20 minutes spent on playing with my youngest nephew just now. He is just almost 2 months old, just like when my other two nephews were like when they were still babies. Kids, don't know why, are the ones who remind me that I am just like that, a kid who needs his Father's love and care, of which I know I am receiving from Him =)And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.
Mark 10: 13 - 16
The blessing of being not just an adult, but also a kid at the same time, a child of God! How cool it would be if I was one of the kids, took into his arms and blessed by Jesus =D
Jon was leading worship this evening at WEB service and I joined in to be a backup vocalist. A few weeks back, Mark Lim has told me to pray for God to show me where would He wants me to serve in the church ministry, of which I have always thought of going to the worship ministry to serve again like before. I prayed, thinking that God may have opened a door for me to serve there once again, but He showed me otherwise. What I enjoyed doing most isn't leading people into worshipping God through songs anymore although I still love to sing unto Him. What I enjoy most now is the interaction between fellow brothers and sisters or the younger ones, getting to know one another better and praying for them. That drew me closer to God as well, through the fellowship and encouragements exchanged through each others sharing. To me, worship isn't just about singing anymore, it is about doing what I love to do and giving my best to Him that whatever the result may be, I may say that He has given me the strength, He has walked me through, the results doesn't matter anymore. One may love to draw, which may turn out to be the form of worship unto God for that person, when drawing beautiful pictures isn't about the person anymore, but about God.It had been a terrible week in camp, feeling very lonely at times since I'm always alone in my bunk. I opened up the bible, not knowing where to turn to. As I flip, I saw Song of Songs. I didn't think I would read that book again because of some past, plus this book is filled with lots of love and mushy stuffs. However, this is the book which spoke to me this week. If two person can be so in loved with one another that they can describe one another with such beautiful terms and longing for one another, what about God and us? He has got to be more mushy than that if He has to describe us in the relationship with Him! Whose love story can be compared to ours when God loved us so much that He sent Jesus to take over our place on the cross, that we may have a direct path back to our Father whom we have a relationship with initially! I prayed through a Psalm after that too, plus read a little on Isaiah especially the part when he was cleansed by the touching of the live coal on his lips. During that moment when I sat down with my bible opened and praying unto Him, I felt His presence so strongly in my life, where praying has never been such joy before. Even now, as I pray, there is this joy knowing that God is listening, He is here waiting for me to reach out to Him to touch His very presence in my life. Yes, there will be ups and downs, there will be silence, but I had an encounter which I learnt that praying isn't a difficult thing, isn't a boring thing, isn't about talking to my surrounding.There is this joy within me, which can only be filled by Him. I still have problems in life, where it is still chaotic, but the joy that He gave is something that just can't be explained. Life isn't problem-free, but at least it isn't joyless. =)"He brought me to the banqueting house,and his banner over me was love."
Song of Songs 2:4 (ESV)
Met up with a fellow sister for dinner at Chinatown after she knocked off from work this evening. It had been more than a year since we last met up, only keeping in contact with each other through SMS or MSN. She sounds very cheerful most of the time when we talk on the phone once every blue moon, or even just now when we met up (even though life is not problem-free). A very contagious thing I guess. Very thankful for this sister. We knew each other in a very weird way too. Through MIRC (yes, aka IRC, the old way of communicating online. You will know it if you are old enough like me! Wahahaha), we chat and got to know each other a little, then became friends ever since when she was at the end of secondary 1 while I was secondary 3 then. Thankful to God for how He has given an opportunity to have known a friend like her. =)
Bought a lot of chocolate while I was out this afternoon. Was very tempted to open one and pop into my mouth just now, then realised I need to reserve my throat for tomorrow as I am already coughing from the huge amount of chocolates I had last week. Bought Ritter Sport's dark chocolate flavour and another cappuccino flavour, also Dars' bitter chocolate. Woooh! Shall open one and try after I get home tomorrow! =P
It is late and I shall catch my sleep now! Hopefully would still be able to wake up for a job in the morning! Haven't exert my body for 2 days already, body not feeling happy about it.
Sleeping time!
Just like Jon's nick, "Lousy Dinner, Great Conversation", had a good time of meeting up with him over dinner at BK. The food was not up to our expectations, his fries having some green stuff on it, while my onion rings looking very healthy as the colour is very pale. However, a fruitful dinner where we spent time sharing about certain stuffs and gossiping about certain people (wahahaha...). I was just kidding. We don't gossip. =P
A few takeaways from our conversations was to pray for certain growth in our CG. He asked when was the most memorable CG/WG meeting I ever had, and all I could think of wasn't so much about the outings that we always have, but instead is that one particular meeting which my COPYCATS WG gathered at Galvin and Dorothy's house. We gathered not knowing what to do except to have a "as-usual" type of meeting, plus Tze wasn't around that night and we didn't know what to do as we didn't plan anything. I picked up the guitar and led a few songs, but those few songs didn't just end there, it went on to a time when the whole WG just spent the whole night praying for one another and those whom we have missed from WG, singing for the whole night unto God in worship. I didn't see that happen in my WG before, and it was the only night that I saw God moving so powerfully in my WG (not that He doesn't work at other times, but just not so visually). It wasn't about me and the guitar, it was God whose presence that worked through the WG that night. That was the night I enjoyed most about WG because God was there, we can find joy in His presence. Jon said something very interesting, "It isn't about feeling God but feeling what God is feeling".
Prayer...
It has only been a week since I last told my nephew not to lie to me, but he did it again. He was intending to cover up about certain things, forgetting that his uncle (yours truly) haven't live the past 20 years not knowing how a kid thinks, or not knowing the loopholes in lies. I told him that it will just be the one last chance I would be giving him. The next time he lies to me again, he can forget about talking to me or asking me for anything plus I will ground him at home on weekends too. Sometimes I do not know whether he did listen to me, or just pretending to listen and will forget about it the next morning as if nothing happened. I do not want to spoil him, but I do not want to be too firm on him either, plus I'm just his uncle only. Somehow it is still disappointing when such problem surface again, especially when I really hope and pray that he will change...
A good day to spend some time praying tomorrow I guess. My long-awaited off is here! Shall have a small break and meeting up with friends these few days before I fly off to the island for 3 weeks of training.
Frankly, I was still having doubt if I should meet up with Jon while I was walking to IMM to meet up. It was the first time we intentionally asked one another out for dinner, and I was having some headaches on where will our conversations will go, or whether will there even be a conversation at all. Haha, I enjoyed this evening with this brother after-all I guess. Thank God for the opportunity =)
Just let me whine and complain for this post. Don't continue reading if you already have a bad day and wouldn't want anything else to affect your mood... There are so many things in my mind that I would like to type it out here, of which mostly are complains, but are sensitive issues which I don't think I should be writing. O well, what to do, just do like what the army say, suck thumb lor. Just have to bear it within and see when will I explode.Life has pretty much been on the down side in camp this week. It has only been a few days since I moved over to my new company, but somehow I realised how many difficult people (or commanders) I have to live with for the next few months. I'm new to the place, not knowing a lot of rules, yet I was reprimand for minor mistakes. Only during this period of time do I know how many friends I have. I was thinking of who I may SMS to disturb them, but I realised that actually I have none whom I can turn to. Actually I do have friends whom I turn to at times, but I'm sure they are tired of hearing my complaints just like how I'm tired of how some of my friends would turn to me for help or to tell me about their problems, but they won't be there when I would need their listening ears.An easy target for people to boost their pride. Especially when I'm short, people will treat whatever that I say like as if I'm a small kid whose words do not mean anything at all, argue and pin me down with their logic, making me sound stupid and my theory wrong when both are correct. It is everywhere. Even Christians. I don't even need a junior holy spirit, but there are some out there. Putting their hands on my head like as if I'm some kind of wooden support, not like as if I do not know that you are tall while I am short. I already know that I'm short since 14 years old, being the shortest guy everywhere I go, I do not need reminder at all, just show me some respect as a human being can? I have my own sense of ego and pride too.
I'm tired of being seen as someone who have all the resources to anything, where people will come to me when they are down or when they need help, but they won't be there when I need them, or even ditch me aside with unkind words when their life is well. This isn't friendship at all.
If I have to give, I will also need to receive. I'm not santa claus. I'm a human...
If you are reading this, please pray for my throat to heal as I'm feel the throat getting a little sore due to overdose of chocolate =X Oops, was a little too tempted (ok, stress is the word) to eat chocolate that I had a little too much for the past 2 days, that my throat isn't feeling that well now. Would be leading some songs in the BBGB Enrollment Service this Sunday in Faith room (not main service la hor...), may even share something to the parents through the songs. Hopefully it would be alright by then. Thanks =)
Songs for Sunday:
1) He is my Everything
2) How Great Thou Art
3) Great is His Love
Supposed to be a little evangelistic since some might be the first and only chance of attending church service, hence please pray for open hearts for the parents and kids too =)
Jia Jia Liang Teh~!
| |
