Jon was leading worship this evening at WEB service and I joined in to be a backup vocalist. A few weeks back, Mark Lim has told me to pray for God to show me where would He wants me to serve in the church ministry, of which I have always thought of going to the worship ministry to serve again like before. I prayed, thinking that God may have opened a door for me to serve there once again, but He showed me otherwise. What I enjoyed doing most isn't leading people into worshipping God through songs anymore although I still love to sing unto Him. What I enjoy most now is the interaction between fellow brothers and sisters or the younger ones, getting to know one another better and praying for them. That drew me closer to God as well, through the fellowship and encouragements exchanged through each others sharing. To me, worship isn't just about singing anymore, it is about doing what I love to do and giving my best to Him that whatever the result may be, I may say that He has given me the strength, He has walked me through, the results doesn't matter anymore. One may love to draw, which may turn out to be the form of worship unto God for that person, when drawing beautiful pictures isn't about the person anymore, but about God.It had been a terrible week in camp, feeling very lonely at times since I'm always alone in my bunk. I opened up the bible, not knowing where to turn to. As I flip, I saw Song of Songs. I didn't think I would read that book again because of some past, plus this book is filled with lots of love and mushy stuffs. However, this is the book which spoke to me this week. If two person can be so in loved with one another that they can describe one another with such beautiful terms and longing for one another, what about God and us? He has got to be more mushy than that if He has to describe us in the relationship with Him! Whose love story can be compared to ours when God loved us so much that He sent Jesus to take over our place on the cross, that we may have a direct path back to our Father whom we have a relationship with initially! I prayed through a Psalm after that too, plus read a little on Isaiah especially the part when he was cleansed by the touching of the live coal on his lips. During that moment when I sat down with my bible opened and praying unto Him, I felt His presence so strongly in my life, where praying has never been such joy before. Even now, as I pray, there is this joy knowing that God is listening, He is here waiting for me to reach out to Him to touch His very presence in my life. Yes, there will be ups and downs, there will be silence, but I had an encounter which I learnt that praying isn't a difficult thing, isn't a boring thing, isn't about talking to my surrounding.There is this joy within me, which can only be filled by Him. I still have problems in life, where it is still chaotic, but the joy that He gave is something that just can't be explained. Life isn't problem-free, but at least it isn't joyless. =)"He brought me to the banqueting house,and his banner over me was love."
Song of Songs 2:4 (ESV)
